"This is a very old English folk song
I know it's a very old English folk song because I wrote it myself when I was very young"

I sing a tale of a jealous male
And a maid of sweet sixteen,
She was blonde and dumb and she lived with her Mum
On the fringe of Bethnal Green
She worked all week for a rich old Greek
For her Dad was on the dole
And her one delight was a Friday night 
When she had a little rock and roll

To my rit-fal-lal, to my titty-fal-dal, to my itty-bitty-fal-dal-day
To my rit-fal-lal, to my titty-fal-dal, to my itty-bitty-fal-dal-day

Then one fine day in the month of May
She met her big romance,
He was dark and sleek with a scar on his cheek
And a pair of drainpipe pants
And she thought with you I could be so true
Through all the years to come
For she loved the gay, abandoned way
He chewed his chewing gum.

To my rit-fal-lal, to my titty-fal-dal, to my itty-bitty-fal-dal-day
To my rit-fal-lal, to my titty-fal-dal, to my itty-bitty-fal-dal-day

It started well, because he fell
For all her girlish charms,
But he had some doubt when he caught her out
In somebody else's arms,
He said Look here, you know, my dear
Tis is going a bit too far
Then he went quite white and he sloshed her right
In the middle of her cha-cha-cha

They went before a man of the law, who said, 
This will not do!
I've had quite enough of the sort of stuff 
I get from the likes of you!
And was she peeved when he received
A longish term in clink
In a fit of pique she married the Greek
And now she's dressed in mink

To my rit-fal-lal, to my titty-fal-dal, to my itty-bitty-fal-dal-day
To my rit-fal-lal, to my titty-fal-dal, to my itty-bitty-fal-dal-day

